


Goodbye from a mountain cliff

by beesp



Series: The Tide [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Love Letters, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-01
Updated: 2013-05-01
Packaged: 2017-12-10 01:31:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/780214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beesp/pseuds/beesp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Philip, Christine, Charlie and Sam had lived together for about three years, then something bad happened. Now they have to learn how to adjust to their new life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodbye from a mountain cliff

**Author's Note:**

> First fanfiction posted on AO3. Also probably my first English fic ever, too. I was just listening to the version of "Ebb Tide" by Bonnie 'Prince' Billy and I started writing. I DON'T EVEN KNOW. Actually, it's my first polyamory fic ever, while I'm used to death fic and angst XD.  
> Hope you like it :).

I’m telling you goodbye from a mountain cliff.  
You’re long gone, we’re still here. We’re gathered around what’s left of you.  
The sea’s in front of us, just waiting to immerse us with waves ten thousand feet tall.  
We’re singing an old song about a sailor with a wooden leg. He was sad, so he took his boat and sailed towards West, because he wanted to save the sun before it died. He thought that if he could get the sun, then nothing will ever be dark again.  
He was wrong. He kept travelling and travelling, until he couldn’t see any near land where he could dock. He hadn’t any food anymore.  
One more night came. He was cold. He knew he was going to die, because he was a good sailor and he knew he was far away from home and from any civilized territory – or any territory at all. So he started chant old prayers his mother taught him, but he wouldn’t focus, because then he began to remember his family and all the loved ones he had lost during his life.  
And he understood he couldn’t keep the sun from going down, because that’s just what happens. You die so you can come back in a new shape.  
He wasn’t scared anymore, you know. That’s what they said.  
They found his boat few days later. He wasn’t there. There was a wrecked brown blanket left behind me.  
They said he had swum through the sea until he was too cold and too tired, then he had let himself go, he had let himself rest. They said he had to be smiling, they had sensed that.  
I don’t know how you died. They won’t tell us.  
We like to think we’re celebrating your birth. We smell your life, we breathe your air on this very cliff, where we used to light a fire to sleep where the air was fresh and salty.  
We loved each other, we cared for each other – now we’re trying to heal each our wounds. It’s not quite that simple. Sam, Charlie and I get to bed holding each other tight. Sometimes it’s not enough and you seem to be behind the door waiting for one of us to get up so we could prepare breakfast and talk.  
Sam cries when he thinks we can’t hear him. He can be in your study, reading some of your writing crap, and he starts to sob holding one of our photos.  
Charlie smokes a lot more. I can see her in the middle of the night sitting on the ledge of our room window. She shrugs and she smiles – I don’t know why.  
The other night they got drunk and they listened to one of your favorite songs, the one about the tide, that one I could never understand. You should have seen them. They were really cute. They were dancing. Charlie was sobbing and Sam was silently crying. I was a bit scared. I stopped the music and they looked at me and just went away. It was awful.  
They think that just because I look fine I’m alright. I am not, obviously. I just can’t feel anything right now.  
Like that one time Sam lost his mother and he didn’t know what to say, because he hated her for leaving him and at the same time he felt so empty. He was so broken. He didn’t say a word for almost three days. Then he watched that documentary about pregnancy and he started laughing so hard we thought he’d blow up. He didn’t, but he could have.  
I’m waiting for my pregnancy documentary, Phil.  
In the meantime I’m afraid they’ll leave me alone. You were the one who showed them how to love me, they won’t take this responsibility anymore. That’s right, but I’m sad anyway.  
We could have had some more years together, we’d have achieved some great things, you know.  
Sam will get his degree really soon, I think you’d have loved to be at the ceremony. You won’t be able.  
Charlie has decided she wants to leave her job. And I’m taking some time away from mine.  
We talk a lot in the afternoon. We never mention you, we used to at first, but then we stopped – it hurt so much, I think. It’s nice and warm to be around them. We look at the stars in the sky and the moon is so wonderful, you loved it. You were such the romantic type. We try and be like that, but we’re just awkward. It’s funny.  
You know? Sam took a picture of you from one of the last times we came and visit you at the hospital. You were awesome even then. I don’t know how you did it, you were always flawless.  
You took care of us, even when you were sick. And now you aren’t here anymore and we still have to figure out what to do – what to do with ourselves.  
I guess we’ll find out.  
We just came here to scatter your ashes in the wind – in the ocean, too. Actually it’s against the law. It doesn’t matter, though. You have to travel around the world, you have to see what’s in front of you, now that you’re born again.  
We’ll see you in another life.


End file.
